寻求帮助-为我的伙伴或朋友

常见的反应

无论关系的澳门赌场玩法官网和构成如何, there are feelings and reactions commonly experienced by the significant other or friend of someone who has survived sexual assault. 你并不孤单.

• 作为伙伴或朋友, you may find yourself confused about sexual assault and wonder if and how it could have been prevented.
• You might find it difficult to listen when your partner or friend wishes to talk about certain aspects of the assault. 你可能会发现自己希望它就这么消失.
• You might be hesitant to let others know about the assault for fear of how they may react to you or your partner or friend.
• You may experience feelings of guilt or responsibility, believing that somehow you could have prevented the assault.
• It is not uncommon to feel anger at your partner and at others around you, 或者是出于对攻击者的报复.
• You might also be unsure about how to approach the issue of physical intimacy with your partner.

All of these feelings are understandable when someone you care about has been sexually assaulted.

These are just a few of the reactions a person may have. They are not unique to sexual assault; anyone in crisis may show some of these behaviors. As a friend, you are a good judge of what emotions and behaviors are common for your friend. If your friend begins to act in an atypical manner for no apparent reason, 不要害怕直接问出了什么问题. You may be the first person to respond to your friend's problem and, 为性侵受害者准备的, 这是复苏的起点.

The important thing to remember is that these feelings need to be recognized and addressed by both you and your partner, so as not to create further distress in an already traumatic situation. 学生咨询中心 可以帮助. For more information or to schedule an appointment, please call (812) 237-3939.

试着记住

Rape and sexual assault are not acts of sexual motivation or sexual gratification, 而是以性为主导的暴力行为, 羞辱, 和控制. Many people confuse this violence with sex because the same body parts are involved. 因此, sometimes people respond to a survivor of a sexual assault as if they had provoked, 想要, 或者很享受. 相反地, the assault often leaves the survivor with a deep sense of violation and emotional upset. Understanding this reality of sexual assault is important to the processes of healing and recovery for you and your partner.

有用的策略

There is no prescribed method of healing from sexual assault because each person's experience will vary. Healing takes time and begins with compassionate support from loved ones and friends. Here are some strategies that you may find useful in helping your friend recover from the trauma they have experienced.¹

• 相信你的朋友. Studies have shown that the reaction of the first person to whom a survivor discloses their story, 不管是积极的还是消极的, 会影响愈合的方式吗.Believing your friend without question or hesitation is the most important thing you can do for them.
• 在那里. 听非. It is a natural response to analyze and question when someone tells us a story. However, active listening skills teach us to talk less and listen more. 永远不要质疑幸存者的行为, 袭击的细节, 或者为什么你的朋友会有这样的感觉. If you are having difficulty understanding what your friend is saying, 试着通过解释你所理解的内容来澄清. 除了, you can reflect back to the person the feelings you have heard them share to ensure that you are not assuming your friend's feelings reflect your own beliefs or judgments.
• 向你的朋友保证这不是他们的错 and that they are not to blame for the assault in any way. Survivors of sexual assault often blame themselves for what has happened. It is important that we help them understand that--no matter what happened--it was not their fault.
• 向你的朋友保证他们并不孤单. Survivors of sexual assault often feel isolated, scared, and powerless. 只要你在那里，你就能成为最有帮助的人. Your presence can reassure the survivor and allow them to work out their feelings in a safe environment.
• 给你的朋友力量. Because rape and other types of sexual assault are crimes that take away an individual’s power, it is important not to compound this experience by putting pressure on your loved one to do things that they are not yet ready to do. Remember, it is always up to the survivor to make choices that will affect the healing process. Providing your friend with resources and options will help them regain the control that was lost.
• If your loved one is willing to seek medical attention or report the assault, 无论他们需要去哪里，你都愿意陪伴他们 (卫生院、警察局等.).

有用的短语

Below are helpful phrases that you can use to empower a survivor of sexual assault or encourage your friend to talk:

• 你想做什么?
• 你对此有何感想?
• 告诉我更多关于……的事
• 到目前为止你都尝试过什么?
• 这对你意味着什么?
• 你觉得怎么样?
• 是什么让你烦恼?
• 以什么方式?
• 你想……吗
• 你想要点什么??
• 你希望看到发生什么?
• 我听到你说的是?
• 可能发生的最好的事情是什么?
• 可能发生的最坏的事情是什么?

要避免的事情

Actions and phrases to avoid when helping a survivor of sexual assault:

• 不再有暴力! We often want to respond to violence with aggressive action. This is not helpful for your friend who has been assaulted and it could make things worse.
• Evaluating: avoid phrases like, “You shouldn't…” “You ought to…” or “You're wrong.”
• Interpreting, analyzing, and diagnosing: “You're doing that because...”
• Warning, ordering, threatening: “If you don't do ___, you'll regret it.”
• Criticizing, blaming: “This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't...”
• 询问，盘问:“什么时候发生的?”“在哪里发生的?“你为什么要那样做??”
• 建议，提供解决方案:“我认为你应该...”
• 给 too positive evaluations: “I'm sure you'll be fine.”“一切都会解决的.”
• 分心，转移注意力:“没那么糟糕.”“让我们谈谈更愉快的事情吧.”